When should one begin to date another? When to begin to date someone…officially being an item…is something that BOTH parties should agree to

Am I bisexual? I had my doubts…though I am not.

Should one explore their sexuality? That decision is all up to the individual.

Miss Handsy is a persistent individual. She was not a member of our ward as she lived in a different building than the girls who attended our ward but they were next to each other. She knew my roommates and the other girls through classes that they took and I had little desire to date. She just happened to be present a lot of the times that we as roommates would hang out in the common areas of our dorm.

For me then, you would date someone who had common interests, someone who you would hang out with just as friends, being able to just understand someone. and the phrase “opposites attract” is as real as it could be. Though now, I feel that in the long run…you need someone who compliments you, someone who is able to be there and enjoy the same things that you do, but who also has strengths where you are weak, and weaknesses where you are strong. Perfection is impossible to obtain so if you think you or they have no weaknesses…stop lying to yourself.

Handsy is not someone that I would say was complimentary. Very much was she the opposites attract kind of person that I thought I needed. Not only was she the opposite gender…she was the non-school focused person, very much the outgoing and people person that I was not unless I was comfortable. I was also not interested in dating her like she was interested in dating me.

Handsy was now in the same ward as us she still had feelings for me. I understood that she did and knowing the person that I had been taught up to be; it is part of my life to date girls, it is expected and she was clearly interested so. As she has been persistent with trying to spend time with me and I decided to begin attempting to play that role and to date her. I knew that if someone was trying so hard to be with me, I should at least try.

So I did.

We begin to hang out more and I tried to make sure we could spend some time where it was just us. We would go shopping, go out to eat, or go to the movies. Sometimes others would go with us. We took the chance a time or two to travel with friends periodically as well. I would try my hardest to get to know her more and to have actual conversations. We never really had any type of conversation that went deeper than classes, church or roommate things or even just discussing what we would do next time we were able to spend time together.

It became clearer to me towards the end of the term that Her and I would not work. I was preparing to go on a mission and I did not need to leave her for two years expecting us to be together after. Before the end of term, I had a conversation with her that I am not ready to have a girlfriend (we had yet at this time to become an official item). She clearly was not entirely happy, I did let her know that we could still be friends and we could remain in contact as I surely was not opposed to this.

SPRING BREAK

I was so happy to see Winter Term come to a close and to relocate my dorm to the building next to mine that allowed me to have a kitchen while at school and not just rely on the meal plan and eating at the cafeteria for most meals. I got new roommates with this new term and I was happy to have a smaller number of roommates as the kitchen dorms only had two bedrooms instead of three.

My roommates this term were a recently returned missionary (legitimately he only had two suitcases and a backpack). My other roommate who was my bunkmate is Polynesian and was able to make some really good food (when he decided to cook). My bunkmate and I were preparing for our missions this term and were working hard to get our papers in to receive our calls to wherever we were to serve.

A very short time into this term Miss Handsy was present again in my life as I was allowing it to happen. We were now in the same ward so we saw each other more without planning than we did prior. This was not a bad thing as all these times were in group settings so there was definitely distractions allowing us both to not spend too much time together as I knew that she was still not happy with my decision at the end of Winter Term.

As we decided to be friends we would try to spend time together with others from our ward to make it less awkward. She was sure to be near me, continue her handsy habits. I would be in the kitchen and she would put her arms around me and I would make sure that I needed to move so I would not spend time in her arms. I would ask for help from others so she would feel awkward being so close to me.

THIS DID NOT PHASE HER

This girl did not have any issue being affectionate with me in front of anyone. She would be all over me and she still had per favorite place of her hands in my pockets. She would do this anytime she could; standing, sitting, walking. She was not allowed in my bedroom per the dorm rules, that was never something that needed to happen and it was rules of the dorm. She did not care and would come in, sometimes without knocking. I would try to make sure I spent time in my room doing homework than in the living room where people would be walking by all the time. I was quick to make sure that Her and I had a conversation about the limits that we had to set in communication and her actions.

In one ear, out the other.

All of these actions were just preludes to a single night where I was sure to not want to talk to her again. I had, by this time towards the end of term, developed habits that I truly enjoyed on my own. One of which was a nightly walk to the temple that was on the opposite side of campus. I did this alone, listening to music, and I would sit across the street from the temple and enjoy the music, or I would stop the music and just be present in the moment.

One of these nights I finished my HW and was just relaxing a bit before I took my walk. She shows unannounced and my roommate knows I am not wanting to see her so he says that I am not at the apartment. She asked where I was and my roommate, being as awesome as he was, said that is not something she needs to know. She then stated that she wanted to see me so I could give her back a pot that we borrowed a few days ago. He gave it back to her, and she asked again where I was and got the same response. I only know the conversation as she was not a quiet person.

I quietly and quickly lock my door as she decided to tell my roommate she would just sit in the bedroom and wait for me to get home. He quickly yells at her that it is his bedroom too and that he does not want her in there. She then calls me and I forgot that I had my ringer on. My phone rings and she then yells at me, banging on the door trying to get in, that she is here and wants to talk with me. I stay quiet and let my phone ring. My roommate doesn’t skip a beat, tells her that I leave my phone at the apartment when I go on my walk. She storms out and slams the door behind her.

Never had she yelled, or been so obsessed with where I was or what I was doing. The night was just beginning.

Would I say that I was sexually attracted to Miss Handsy? No. Maybe in the moment I would have, but nothing ever really happened for me when she would kiss me as we did spend time together alone enough for us that she would instigate making out during winter term before I ended whatever it was that we had.

How was my roommate so good at staying on the ball? I had given my roommate the whole situation with her, he knew that her actions were not entirely welcome by me. He was fairly good at reading me, not that I was trying to be subtle when I reacted the way that I did.

Some have asked why I did not just get a restraining order? I should not need to. She is an adult as am I and we should be able to control our own actions. Additionally, I was leaving on my mission soon so there was no reason for me to do something so harsh.