Is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints hateful towards LGBT+ individuals? This REALLY depends on who you ask though many will say no yet, complete actions that clearly state otherwise.

Why do I choose to stay an active member? Of recent, I have really begun to question this myself so I hope today’s post will elaborate some on this.

Do I hate the Church? I do not hate the church at all, there are a lot of things that I have been able to learn from growing up in it. There are some policies that I have major issues with and I discuss them here.

This past weekend was another worldwide conference for the church. 10 broadcast hours over the first weekend of April and October every year. During the conference, we hear from our church leaders. Mainly The Quorum of The 12 Apostles and our General Presidency. We heard from each of them this past weekend and many have some great values that they teach. I enjoy Conference in many aspects and know that there are many good intentions with the messages that are delivered to us.

Sunday afternoon was the beginning of the last session for this April session of Conference. It was able to begin with a speaker who really does have a knack for talking about the policy of the church in a way that is cut-and-dry with the air of “there is no change that will be made to this” which honestly is true when it comes to the policy that he spoke about.

After his address and the end of Conference, there was a flurry of social media posts about his address and a few other addresses that followed that, unfortunately, perpetuate the image of the church as anti-LGBT+. There will be many who will be disappointed to hear that I agree with many of the posts that I have seen. I also have the audacity to say that I also agree with some of what was said; only because I try my best to see things from both sides. I suck at that sometimes.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks is the man whose address I will be kind of dissecting a bit and adding my view to this.

He says early in his address, “I love all of God’s children.” This I feel I can agree with as his intentions are pure and based on his own understanding of what he believes to be true. Church policy, on the other hand, says otherwise.

Do know that church policy, as I have stated earlier, does not change often and when it does it is not so much in a huge shift or massive way. Also expecting a change to happen that is able to appeal to the masses, or that differs from what God teaches is not something anyone should hope for.

Elder Oaks continues in stating that, as part of God’s plan, “ALL the children of God will end up in a kingdom of glory.” Another statement that I do feel could be true as I have been taught and the church does teach this; is that there are three kingdoms of glory that we may be able to reside in after death. The highest of all being the Celestial kingdom where we can live with God. As far as the world is aware, Elder Oaks and the apostles know little about the lower two kingdoms though they are certain that even the lowest kingdom is wonderful beyond our comprehension.

Boy oh boy do I hope that is true! Let me tell you why.

Being gay and religious or even just spiritual (in a monotheistic direction) for that matter is not a common combination. Having a belief in God and that God is good and that God is understanding, loving, kind, just and so much more…we sure do hope that if what we believe is true then we might be able to live with God again.

According to the church, this is ONLY possible if we choose to live a life worthy of that Glory. Aspects that show that we are doing what God asks of us go beyond the basic answers of church attendance, scripture study, and prayer. Temple attendance is a huge part of this if we want to live with God again.

Only through temple worship and covenants are we able to obtain the highest glory of living with God again.

Temples are defined as the house of God, where the most sacred covenants that we can make with God on this earth are made. To attend the temple you are to have a recommend. Gaining a recommend is completed with an interview between you and your bishop, then another between you and your stake president.

I had the opportunity before Conference to meet with my bishop and when I walked out of there I had my first interview completed. I walked out of there a little more pressured into obtaining something that I was actively choosing to not have.

After hearing Elder Oaks’ address…I am more determined to not have the second interview with my stake president as I do not feel it would be appropriate for me to do so.

Oaks talked about the temples and used “The Family A Proclamation to the World” as part of it. Stating that the proclamation, “founded on unchangeable doctrine, defines the kind of family relationships where the most important part of our eternal development can occur.” This document emphasizes that marriage is between a man and a woman. A simple statement but one that is very limiting.

Earlier in his address, Oaks states that it is the church’s responsibility to, “teach and contend for principles and practices that provide the best conditions for the development and happiness of children.” According to the church…this is in homes where there are temple-worthy parents, specifically a mother and a father who are married in the temple. There are no temple marriages performed for homosexual couples or couples where either party identifies differently than their gender at birth. This is not new knowledge to the world or religion, and I am not asking or stating that there should be a policy change. I am just stating facts.

Oaks declared Satan works to oppose what is essential to God’s plan, “distorting marriage, discouraging childbearing and confusing gender.” I do not and will not ever state that I am a master at understanding gender so I will not dive deep much further than to state that I have not struggled with my gender identity and thus have no say in how anyone who identifies differently than their birth gender should feel with a statement like that.

A statement like that perpetuates the feeling that I had when I was young that I am incorrect, broken, unloved, wrong, unnatural, etc.

This is simply not true to me or anyone else that I know of who feels that that statement includes them in any way. Know that I will love anyone and everyone regardless of their marital status, their views/goals with raising children, or their gender identity.

If you think I am wrong for stating that…this is not a blog for you to be reading and I am not someone you may enjoy having involved in your life.

Elder Oaks also mentioned our ability to choose, in many instances, He mentions this and I agree that we all do have our ability to choose, we also have the ability to respect others. When I say “we” I FULLY intend on including EVERY member of the church in that statement, not just those that Oaks may be implying that are not members or who choose differently than he would. Respect goes both ways in knowing where to go with conversation and when to stop and respect someone and their decisions.

Back to the fact that I do not have an active recommend for temple attendance, and I am choosing not to.

The temple is a place that represents what Elder Oaks talks about in his address this last Sunday afternoon. Eternal marriage between a man and a woman (both identifying and living as their born gender). The intention to have children with aforementioned spouse. The determination to defend these views and policies at home, work, and within any legal and political aspects.

Being a gay member of the church who is out, open about it, and intentionally determined to raise a family with another man to whom I am married. That is not something that I could ever be comfortable with having, a recommend to attend services in a building that represents and perpetuates heterosexual normalities.

I truly believe that there is a God, Gods, deities, or higher power out there that loves us dearly and wants every single one of us to live with them. Limiting those of us that differ from the majority because we were naturally blessed with the differences of sexuality, gender identity, or desire to have children…is not what I could believe a God is capable of. Not the God that I believe in.

I feel that I could go on even more about this address and all of the things that I have been thinking about since this address was given but I will stop here, for now, and address more if I feel it is necessary.

For those who feel I may have only picked this apart to be negative, or those that want to hear/read the full address from Elder Oaks, feel free to look it up. April 2022, Sunday Afternoon Session of General Conference. He is the first to speak within the first 30minutes of the session.

Why do I not have a recommend? I do not feel that I should put energy or place upon me the image/label that I am worthy to enter a place that does not allow for the goals of my life to be seen as natural, Godly, or appropriate in the eyes of God.

Do I wish that Church policy would change on homosexual marriages? I would have to say yes I do. Though I know and understand that that change may not ever happen.

Do I feel that policy could change in the future? The church has a statement that relates to this; “We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.” THIS. RIGHT. HERE. Is the most hopeful thing for me when it comes to church policy. I do not believe that God is done revealing truth to us and some truth that he has…we are just not yet ready for.