Why did I stop my story? My story has not stopped, my story keeps going. I decided to change my blog a bit as I found it very difficult for me to look back and relive all those years over again.

Will I still share my experiences? HELL YES! I see no reason why I should not share my story or else I would not be posting here every week.

What’s the plan then? The plan now is to just write, I find that my writing and thoughts are best either with years of preparation and re-writing and many many drafts, or, just the word vomit that I can come up with that in many instances I have found to be quite impressive.

Hello all again from your currently Willamette Valley gay Mormon! I am not the only one no but as far as I know…the only one that writes a blog about it!

Recently I have decided that I will take my blog in a slightly new direction…the gist of my blog will remain the same though I will really only go back into the storyline that I have built when I feel I need to. I understand some of you are invested in my story and feel free to subscribe and contact me if you want another chapter.

I said, “currently Willamette Valley,” because earlier this year I was able to have a conversation with one of my absolute best friends that would begin one of the best journeys of the rest of my life.

I am moving my little sassy gay ass out to the Rocky Mountain region of the US! My friend and I are both needing a new start from where we both currently are and feel that the Rocky’s will be a truly beneficial place for us both in many ways. We have given ourselves through August to make this happen as we both need some time to get things in order financially being the most important part.

When I think about relocating to somewhere that I will not have family immediately near other than an Aunt from my father’s side, I get a little scared. I have been away from home for extended periods of time before. My mission and terms at school.

The big fact about those two things were that I was still taken care of. At school, I always had access to my parents via phone and I had a school that would keep me accountable and knew I was there. My mission, I did not have my family readily accessible any second that I needed them; but I had the church covering most expenses, housing, and a monthly stipend for the work.

Moving out of the house and a few states away from where I am will bring out a whole new aspect for me. I will still have my parents just a mere phone call away so that will be good, though when it comes to them being there within 24hrs like they could when I was at school…only a plane could make that happen where my parents prefer to drive if they could.

This step of officially moving out, yes, after 28 years, is exciting for me! Many people my age have moved out, are in relationships, married, have kids, are in great careers etc. My decision to remain living at home is a myriad of decisions from not making enough to move out, to being too lazy because living at home is able to allow me to save money a lot faster than I thought I would. Regardless…I have been given the opportunity and chance to move out of my parent’s home, and not move back…for the first time and it be real.

I am looking forward to this and feel that I have been ready for a long time for this chance. I am not moving out or leaving to get away from my family and never return. I am not leaving to avoid anyone or anything in life here that I should address and resolve. I am doing this to give me the chance that I have been wanting for a long time.

The chance to finally have the freedom that I have been craving for a long time.

As an adult child living in your parents’ home there is freedom for sure. Every family dynamic is different and that I truly understand. For members of the church, more commonly I feel, the freedom is more perceived than it is truly there. The rules that we grow up having for us when we are children are still there, they are never technically verbally removed and are not really ever enforced…but the shame for not following them or the fact that there is the unspoken obligation to continue living those rules.

Parents love their children and care for them deeply. They do not want them to get hurt, fail in life or even just struggle. My parents are no different. My mother especially is one who loves her children deeply, she has her values and opinions and they have worked for her for years. These values and opinions are never forced upon us in obvious ways but are encouraged and opposing ones are discouraged more through her actions, reactions and comments than anything.

The stress that many individuals place upon themselves as adults is that they need to have approval from others. To a degree this is true, but really only in the career field if there is going to be success. In all other aspects of life, how one lives their life, where they live etc. is not something that anyone should approve of other than the one living that life.

I do not say this to say “screw what my friends and family think,” I say it to make a point that one’s dreams and aspirations all have value and merit. They should be fought for, asses worked hard, I would not be surprised of tears are shed in the process, a little blood and sweat too. Everyone has dreams and I sure do hope that they come true for friends and family.

My journey to the Rocky Mountain region of the US will be an adventure that I will never forget, hope to not regret, and 110% be one that I will be able to learn from. I am not going on this journey alone. My family is supportive of me in this, even if mom worries that I will lose my savings and that she will miss me. I have one of my best friends is propelling us both forward as I am doing plenty of pulling. My friends from the YSA here in my area ae happy and excited for me, though some are also mad I am leaving. Yes it will be a bitter sweet moment, though I have promised as I intent to keep it, that I ill visit.

The Willamette Valley will always be my original home and have the most precious places in my heart. Nothing will keep me from here if I am determined to visit.

I know that this week’s post has been different than prior ones as I have just jumped into current time and not continued the story I have left off on. I cannot promise that my next post or any post after this will jump back where I left off. I do know that my prior experiences will come into light, I will talk more in-depth about my experience being outed then kicked out of school, my mission experiences, and of course all the times that I feel I should share.

As I stated earlier, there are some of you that would love to hear my story as it left off…I do not see that as the direction that I can continue effectively. I would much rather have each week go where my mind takes it. Maybe I get some contact from you and have some questions asked, some thoughts or comments that I could discuss in greater detail. If you have the desire, please do reach out and I would me more than happy to see what I can do to give attention, time, detail and thought into a response.

When will I pick up my story again? The experiences and years that I have had prior to where I am now were not easy for me to live, reliving them again all at once was now something that I wanted to continue, but my experiences will be shared as I deem it needed.

Do I feel that I have been suppressed in my life at home? I would say no. If there has been any suppression it has all been from me. Probably more out of laziness and the minimal desire to leave where I am comfortable.

Am I truly comfortable where I am now? Nope! I say that surely now, though I have my days where I know I feel comfortable and question why I would want to change anything. Funny thing about change though, it is inevitable. Just like time, change happens; with my blog, with society, with how one might feel about their life. Change is a good thing, a blessing at best, a learning opportunity at worst.